wake up chetan bhagat!!!!!

the roaring lion from colombia, gabriel garcia marquez started off with lamenting about one hundred years of solitude but then dragged to kidnappings and nostalgia.

mj hypnotised with thriller but then dozed off being invincible.

maradona showed the world what soccer was in '86 but the world also saw him caught in his own debauchery in '98.

what is it with sudden sparks of creativity?
why is it that they are not able to sustain the energy?

five point someone was an okay read even for a non-academic guy like me. enlightened by the flush of youth with dil chahtha hai, the book was more like a screen-story than an actual novel. the i saw him fall down the path...

i just finished reading his latest novel '2 states' and i regret it. the 'supposed' novel is a mix of ddlj and ek duuje ke liye. a punjabi boy with a tamilian girl with 2 sets of impossible families. just when he feels there needs to be an entertainment quotient, he puts in a pinch of sex.

in all his books, it seems his heroes are the irresistable mephistopheles', who fall into the most cranky situations and come out victorious. phew!!!

let me see how far this guy is going to go, digging into is own history for plots...

taare zameen par and kanchivaram

the indian governement appoints a committee to chosse the best movie released that year, which is then sent as india's official entry to the academy awards (oscars) for a nomination for the best foreign film the following year. from 1957, the committee has been diligent in sending a movie to the oscars almost every year. mehboob khans' 'mother india' was the first indian movie to be sent at the 30th academy awards in 1957. the movie also made it into the nomination category. after that, the country with the largest film industry in terms of movies released per annum could make it to the nomination only twice, with 'salaam bombay' in 1988 and 'lagaan' in 2002. for the this year, the indian committee send aamir khan directed 'taare zameen par', unfortunately it did not make it to the nomination of an award ceremony that did see ar rahman and resul pookutty grab three of the coveted awards.

the indian government established the directorate of film festivals in 1954. every year a national panel appointed by the government selects the winning entry, and the national award ceremony is held in new delhi, where the president of india gives away the awards. this is followed by the inauguration of the national film festival, where the award-winning films are screened for the public. declared for films produced in the previous year across the country, they hold the distinction of awarding merit to the best of indian cinema overall, as well as presenting awards for the best films in each region and language of the country. due to the national scale of the national film awards, it is considered to be the equivalent of the american academy awards. this years jury headed by the eminent sai paranjpye selected priyadarshan's tamil movie 'kanchivaram' as the best film. sharad goekar was awarded the best child artist award for his performance in the marathi movie 'tingya'.

well, the governement had appointed both the committies and the juries have come out with completely different winners in the best film category. when darsheel safary won most of the popular awards for his dyslexic act in taare zameen par (tzp), sharad was nowhere in the picture. if 'kancheevaram' was the best movie, the why was tzp sent to the oscars. or, was it because 'tzp' didnt make it to the nominations that it was not awarded the best picture? the previous indian nominations or for that matter, the nominations in the best foriegn film category have gone to films that depict the culture of that land. tzp could have happened anywhere in the world. kancheevaram, on the other hand is about a silk-weaver in the town of kanchipuram well known for its kancheevaram sarees. it is about how he promises his daughter at birth that he would marry her off in a silk saree, a highly impossible wish considereing the low wages the weavers were paid. the communist wave gets hold off him and he is caught in a vortex that leaves him emotionally fragile and finally he uses the silk to cover the dead body of his daughter. kanchivaram is a movie that is pure indianness in each of its frame.

it is a well-known fact that, for the west only two indian entertainments sell - gandhi and poverty. all the rest is unacceptable to them. 'mother india', 'salaam bombay' and 'lagaan' had whole dollops of poverty in them, but still seeped in indian history.

i am not saying that 'kanchivaram' would have been nominated or that 'tzp' is a bad film. indeed my eyes went wet when ishaan awasthi was unable to get up and walk to the podium when it is announced that he had defeated his art teacher ram shankar nikhumbh in a painting competition. but oscars dont give a dime about star status - all the khans or kapoors are just actors for them, not demi-gods like we project them to be.

a pious offering of songs

at one point or other in their life, christians will memorise the 23rd chapter of the book of psalms - a book devoted to songs and prayers. even i had a shot at memorising it, not for the sake of the 'divine' purpose but to have verses/words in my armour when i would sit for some competition at the church. down the lane, i completely forgot it, maybe because poetry was never my forte. i loved sentences not five words on a single line. but, gitanjali changed that.

gitanjali was a collection of 103 poems by the bengali poet rabindranath tagore which, after translation, became sensational throughout the world and tagore became the first non-european to win a nobel prize, for literature in 1913. 'git' means song and 'anjoli' means a prayer offering.

the lines in 'gitanjali' that will always have a special place, somewhere in me:

where the mind is without fear,
and the head is held high;
where knowledge is free;
where the world has not been broken up
into fragments by
narrow domestic walls;
where words come out from the
depth of truth;
where tireless striving stretches its arms
towards perfection
where the clear stream of reason
has not lost its way
into the dreary desert sand
of dead habit;
where the mind is led forward by thee
into ever-widening thought and action;
into that heaven of freedom,
my father,
let my country awake.

'teardrop on the cheek of time'

this blog is about the taj mahal. indians consider the taj mahal to be the 'symbol of love' - a tomb constructed by a husband for his wife when he was devastated by her death. the iwans, pishtaqs, minarets, chattris, guldastas, finial - theres a lot to brag about and i dont intend to. i have read some interesting facts about the taj mahal and i am jotting it down here. now, as to if they are true, it all depends on the perimeters of imagination that can draw a fine line between myths and legends....

for the basic all-known facts:
the taj mahal is the most photographed mausoleum in the world, built by mughal emperor shahjahan in memory of his third wife, mumtaz mahal who died while giving birth to his 14th child. the construction began in 1632, a year after mumtaz's death and was completed in 1653 (a total of 22 years) employing thousands of artisans and craftsmen under the supervision of principal designer ustad ahmed lahauri and architects abdul karim ma'mur khan and makramat khan. mumtaz's body was stored at burhanpur (modern madhya pradesh) where she had died and it was after the completion of the taj mahal that her remains were shifted to the mausoleum. the taj mahal was an epic of persian and mughal architecture.

now, for the meatier ones:
1. 'badshahnama' (the chronicles of an emperor) written by shahjahan's court historian has recorded that: a) mumtaz's birth-name was arjumand banu begum and upon her marriage at the age of 19 to prince khurram (the later shahjahan), she became mumtaz-ul zamani. b) shahjahan took over the 'raja mansingh palace', a grand mansion of unique splendor (imaarat-e-aalishaan) with a dome on top, from maharajah jaisingh of jaipur in 1632.
2. 'aadaab-e-alamgiri', 'yadgarnama' and 'muruqqa-i-akbarabadi' are three letters that prince aurangzeb wrote to his father, emperor shahjahan during 1652. in those letters, the prince has described the delapidated condition of the mausoleum (water leaks and cracks on the dome) and that he was going to renovate them on his expense. this proves that either the taj mahal was not a recent construction or that a really bad job had been done.
3. 'kapad-dwara', the secret collection of entries by the maharajahs of jaipur records a request that shahjahan made to the jaipur princes for a building complex on the banks of yamuna river (taj mahal of course). the entry also records that, in 1634, shahjahan demanded immediate provision of marble from maharajah jaisingh for the three firmans; just two years after mumtaz's death. if shahjahan had really built the taj mahal in a span of 22 years, why the urgency just after 2 years when the initial frame construction would have anyhow taken 4-5 years.
- the above three historical evidences reveal that shahjahan had never built the taj mahal. it was already there as the 'raja mansingh palace'. shahjahan converted it into the taj mahal and used it as the mausoleum of mumtaz-ulzamani, as per her last wish.

4. jean-baptiste tavernier (1605-1689) the french jeweller who visited agra, has recorded in his travel memoirs that shahjahan buried mumtaz near the 'taj-i-makan' (the taj building) and he was the first to record that the construction of taj mahal took 22 years and that most of the work was of scaffolding.
5. english traveller peter mundy who visited agra in 1632 (the year of mumtaz death) has recorded the presence of the taj-e-mahal with its tombs, gardens and bazaars. so, it means the taj mahal was there earlier.
6. german traveller johan albert de mandelslo visited agra in 1638 and has made interesting observations of the mughal empire but suprisingly, he has made no mention of the taj mahal, which was supposedly in its sixth year of construction.
7. an american laboratory conducted carbon 14 test on a piece of wood that formed the riverside doorway of the taj mahal. the test revealed that the door had its origins in 1335 (300 years before shahjahan).
- the above foriegn travelogues reveal that that taj mahal was not a new construction but a renovation on an already constructed structure, which could be the 'raja mansingh palace'.

8. it is necessary to remove the shoes at a hindu temple whereas it is necesary to wear them at a cemetary. if the taj mahal was indeed a tomb, why is there the tradition of removing the shoes?
9. the term taj mahal was never recorded in the mughal chronicles. 'mahal' is not a word used for buildings constructed by the muslims. its is a word synonymous with hinduism meaning 'mansion'. how could a tomb be called a 'mansion'. since the taj mahal was the renovated 'raja mansingh palace', it means 'taj' and 'mahal' are words having sanskrit connections. the taj mahal is a corrupt form of the sanskrit term 'tejo mahalay' signifying a shiva temple.
10. agra is an ancient centre of shiva worship through ages and traditions. there were five shiva dieties in five temples in agra that the shiavites were supposed to worship. presently there are four - balkeshwar, prithvinath, manakameshwar and rajarajeshwar. the fifth was the agreshwar mahadev nagnateshwar which was destroyed centuries ago. the agreshwar mahadev nagnateshwar (the great god of agra; the deity of the king of cobras) was consecrated in the tejo mahalay (the great abode of the tej) temple. from the 12th to the 18th centuries, the agra region was dominated by the jats who invoked lord shiva with the name 'tejaji'.
11. 'vishwakarma vaastushaastra' mentions that the 'tej-linga' was one of the shiva-lingas. such a tej-linga was consecrated at the agreshwar mahadev nagnateshwar thereby becoming the tejo mahalay.
12. the taj mahal has a trident pinnacle over the dome. a full scale of the trident pinnacle is inlaid in the red stone courtyard to the east of the taj. the central shaft of the trident depicts a kalash (sacred pot) holding two bent mango leaves and a coconut which is a sacred hindu motif. identical pinnacles have been seen over hindu and buddhist temples in the hamalayas. tridents are also depicted against a red lotus background at the apex of the stately marble arched entrances on all four sides of the taj. it was believed all these centuries that the taj pinnacle depicts an islamic cresent and star was a lighting conductor installed by the british. on the contrary, the pinnacle is a marvel of hindu metallurgy since the pinnacle made of non rusting alloy, is also perhaps a lightning deflector. that the pinnacle of the replica is drawn in the eastern courtyard is significant because the east is of special importance to the Hindus, as the direction in which the sun rises.
13. the two buildings facing the taj mahal in the east and west directions have identical design, shape and size but have but have been deemed as a community hall and a mosque. how could similarity constructed buildings have different purposes? the 'nallar khana' is indeed a drumhouse which is a necessity in a hindu temple but not in a musilm cemetary. between the mosque and the drumhouse are a flight of stairs leading to a traditional treausry well, common in hindu temples of the 17th century. such an elaborated, multistoried treasury chest is unnecessary in a muslim tomb.
14. mughal chroniclers recorded dates of all important events - the birth of princes, marriages, ascension to throne, battles, deaths etc. but the burial date of mumtaz has not been recorded. was it because it never took place? the court papers have no records about the contruction of the tajmahal - no accounts of the materials or manpower used. the plants grown in the gardens of the taj mahal during its construction were those which were used exclusively for the worship of lord shive. consider this, who would want to grow fruits or flowers in a cemetary? would an emperor visit his beloved's resting place to have fruits?
- the above reveal that shahajahan had spent 22 years in converting a hindu temple dedicated to lord shiva into a muslim mausoleum for his wife.

15. the limestone walls and marble basements seem to cover up all the idols. jean-baptiste tavernier's travelogue states that shahjahan had plundered the tejo mahalaya shiva temple, uprooted the shiva idols, planted the cenotaphs, inscribed the holy quran along the arches and walled six of the seven stories. the french traveller, francois bernier who was emperor aurangzeb's physician for 12 years, has stated in his work, 'travels in the mughal empire' that initially, non-muslims were denied entry into the basement when shahjahan had taken over the 'raja mansingh palace' because the basement was a treasure house of gold, silver and gems dedicated to lord shiva. it seems mumtaz's cenotaph was grafted in place of the shiva-linga.
16. prophet muhammed has ordained that the burial spot of a muslim should not be marked by a single tombstone, but ironically, the taj mahal has two graves, one in the basement and another on the first floor chamber, both for mumtaz. the two cenotaphs were erected to cover up the two shiva-lingas, since hindus install two shiva-lingas on two stories, as can be seen in the mahankaleshwar temple in ujjain or the somnath temple. the closed-up rooms and walls of the taj mahal have sanskrit inscriptions and idols of shiva.
17. the eastern and southern pavilions of the taj mahal have several graves cluttered together mostly of queens and maids. like his predecessors, shahjahan finally used the mausoleum to bury his other queens and maids which means...is it indeed the symbol of love? shahjahan is one mughal emperor who had a thousand concubines and fifteen wives in his harlem. his court chronicles even gives space to imagine that he had an affair with his daughter jahanara. so the fact that the loss of one of his beloved's would inspire him to build a grand mausolem is highly far-fetched. the entire taj mahal complex has 400-500 rooms, too many for a dead woman or alive for that matter.
18. above mumtaz's centotaph hangs a chain by which now hangs a lamp. before capture by shahjahan the chain used to hold a water pitcher from which water used to drip on the shivalinga. it is this earlier hindu tradition in the taj mahal which gave the myth of shahjahan's love tear dropping on mumtaz's tomb on the full moon day of the winter eve. it was of this incident that rabindranath tagore said - teardrops on the cheek of time.

the archaelogical survey of india should be applauded for not bringing such 'explosive' truths to the forefront. because, i personally, would not want the taj mahal to be another babri masjid... in an india where everyone is waiting for a chance to lift arms against one another, if that hindu temple was pulled down to form a muslim tomb, let history lay rest, let us dream of shahjahan-mumtaz on the same track as that of romeo-juliet...let the beauty of the taj mahal stand as a beacon to beauty itself.

reminiscences of summer '09

i have filled my blog entries mostly with topics that are of interest to me. i would like to give this entry a change. i would like to blog about the recent days of my life.

my parents left for a 2 month vacation on july 27th. due to the scorching heat, the site timing has been changed to 0500-1200 hours. its a bit tough to get up early morning, get dressed and then sleep for one hour through the journey to ras laffan. along-with work, i would read 'times of india', download songs, chat with friends. he he...

i reach back home by 1230 hours. either i heat up the food that i prepare on fridays (mostly chicken / mutton masala that might last for 3-4 days) and have it with 'quboos' or i fire up a sadia chicken burger in an arirang bun greased with mayo-chilli. i would then go through the manorama newspaper. my cousin nithin would drop by 1330. we would chat, murder some rothmans and catch up on any english movie being shown on cable. he would leave by 1500 hours. then, i would watch any movie on my dell or the 34gb-10 seasons-244 episodes of record-breaking american sitcom 'friends' that nithin had given me. i would then have a 90 minute nap.

in the evenings, if i am alone i would continue with my oil paintings of raja ravi varma or try out some songs on my guitar. most of the days, my friend ninesh drops by. we might have some fosters or whisky.

i might wound up my day by reading some book or listening to some ghazals. i am currently reading 'the tin drum' by gunther grass.

on thursdays, i go out for a movie. i will have some drinks and sleep late. i get up real late on fridays. i do my washing, preparing of food and clean up the house. then i have a real slow bath and sit down for lunch. the evenings would be spend with friends.

that sums up most of my days.

howard roark - the creative free thinker

'howard roark laughed. he stood naked at the edge of a cliff.'

with these words, ayn rand unleashed 'the fountainhead' in 1943. howard roark is the protagonist of 'the fountainhead'; he is a fiercely independent, brilliant young architect of the modern school, whose bold and innovative designs are rejected by an orthodox society' yet he belives in the merit of his revolutionary designs and has the courage to stand for them in the face of an antagonistic society. the theme of the novel is 'individualism v/s collectivism' - the conflict between the individual who thinks for himself and the collectivism of those who allow others or external factors to dominate their decisions and life.

ideal man: roark is not the product of his upbringing, his economic stature, his family, his religious training or his social background, instead, he is a product of the choices he had made. he is an example of free will - the theory that an individual has the power, by the virtue of the choices he makes, to control the out come of his life. a man's thinking and values are not controlled by god or the fates or society or any external factor - but solely by his own choice.

integrity: it is the 'practice what you preach' virtue - it is the principle that says - you must put into practical action the ideas that you hold. but then, first, you must hold ideas. integrity requires a man to be a thinker. he is not a hypocrite to think something and practice something else. the only thing sacred in the world is the mind of a thinking man.

positive selfishness: roark is true to his values, his convictions, to his thinking, to his mind, to his self. despite being down to his last penny, he gives up a lucrative, publicity-genertaing commission in order to stand by the integrity of his design - and thats what he calls 'selfish'. to be true to one's self , one must first have a self. he must think independently he must judge, he must form values and he must act in pursuit of those values. he must never sacrifice them.

practical morality: roark proves that, in order to succeed,one does not need to betray his principles and play along-with the game. he is committed to his designs. he prefers to work under the scorching sun in a granite quarry rather than compromise with the smallest details of his designs. he has faith in himself and his designs. towards the end of the nearly 700 page novel, he achieves a significant commercial success. it proves that he is practical because he is moral and not vice-versa and that these two qualities can exist in a casual relationship.
free thinker: the essence of 'howard roark' is an unswerving devotion to his own thinking and judgement. animals employ characteristics as speed of foot, size, stength, claws and fangs, wings in order to survive whereas man cannot rely on these physical attributes. he must be a thinker to grow food, build houses, manufacture clothes and perform other creative actions necessary to prosper on earth. for this, each man must accept responsibility for his own thinking and his own survival. he must stand by his principles and values rather than bend to the opinions of others. such willingness to live by one's own thinking is true independence and integrity - this is virtue. moral virtue is a requirement of practical success, not a hindrance to it. although all are blessed with the power of thought, many of them chose not to use their's and instead look for an authority figure - 'conformists' who refuse the responsibility of thought and self-directed motivation taking the path of least resistance in life.

'the fountainhead' was initially rejected by twelve publishers who were committed to traditional plots and forms of story-telling. some thought it was too intelluctual, some thought there was no market for such a book while others rejected it because it glorified individualism and repudiated the collectivist ideas so popular among the then intelluctuals. ayn rand refused to comply or dilute her theme. when a reader at bobbs-merrill loved the theme and fought for its publication, the book seemed to live the theme it propogated. its theme of glorifying the independent mind not only captures the essence of the human spirit but, more fundamentally, expresses the deep human yearning for freedom. 'the fountainhead' is a theme and a novel that will live forever.

a standing ovation to the free-thinking spirits of issac newton, thomas alva edison, machiavelli, michaelangelo, leonardo da vinci, albert einstein, picasso and many other original thinkers who thought freely, developed their ideas and struggled against a conservative society.

the first pandava

in the indian epic 'mahabharatha' by maharishi ved vyas, karna is considered the greatest warrior by krishna and bheeshma. a warrior whose life inspires humanity 'not to loose heart in the struggles that one may face in life'.

loss of identity: pleased by kunti's hospitality, sage durvasa decides to bless her. the sage is able to foresee her future of having an impotent husband, and so, he grants her a mantra with which she could call upon any god of her choice and beget a child. still unmarried, kunti, out of curiosity, invokes the mantra calling upon sun-god surya. the sun-god appears before her and grants her a son, as radiant and robust as the god himself. the baby was born with kavacha (armor) and kundala (earrings). surya assured her that she would still remain a virgin. fear of shame, kunti places the child in a basket and floats it into the ganges. in this way, the child who was supposed to be the first pandava; who should have lead the pandavas to victory at the war of kurukshetra; who was more righteous than yudhistra, more valiant than bhima, a better warrior than arjuna - was deprived of his identity.

quest for knowledge: more than riding the chariot, karna was interested in the art of warfare. he requested dronacharya to teach him. but drona refused him because he only taught kshatriyas and karna was the son of a charioteer. karna was the first prince and had all the rights to learn the warfare from the best possible teacher but destiny didn't give him a chance. had he been aware of his lineage, his mother would have refused him. karna approached parashurama who had a hatred to wards kshatriyas and taught only brahmins. karna approached him as a brahmin and trained to become such a diligent student that parashurama considered him an equal.

respect for elders: when parashurama was asleep on his lap, karna did not move when a scorpion stung him. it was a deep wound and blood flowed out of his thigh, but still he did not move. parashurama realised that karna should be a kshatriya for being able to withstand such pain. in his anger, the guru cursed him that his martial skills would fail him when he needed it the most. karna's plea of mercy softened parashurama but the curse could not be reoked. instead he gifted karna with the celestial weapon, bargavastra and his personal bow vijaya. it is assumed that lord indra had taken the form of the scorpion to reveal that karna was a kshatriya.
misuse of talents: after his education at parashurama's karna set out on a journey during which he practiced the 'shadbavedi vidya' (hitting target by observing sound) and accidentally killed a cow mistaking it to be a wild animal. the brahmin who owned the cow cursed him: like he killed a helpless animal, he would be killed when he would be most helpless. karna was excited at having completed the art of warfare, though he got cursed he gained the weapons of his guru. he was excited and like his mother, used the knowledge he gained at the inappropriate moment.

helpful and righteous: karna found a girl crying over a pot of spilt ghee since her evil step-mother would be angry at her carelessness. unable to pacify the girl, karna takes the ghee mixed with soil and squeezes with all his strength, extracts the ghee and pours it back into the pot. but bhoomidevi (goddess of earth) angers at the pain that karna caused for the sake of a mere child and so, curses him that just as he held the soil, the goddess would hold his chariot wheel during battle, making him vulnerable to the enemy. karna helped the girl but did not bother to realise that he might be, unknowingly hurting others. there are times when one might face blows in life but that does not mean that one should stop doing good.

value for friendship: when karna challenged arjuna at the hastinapura open archery tournament, he was denied the chance because he was not a prince. kunti who was seated in the gallery did not have the courage to acknowledge that karna was the first pandava. duryodhana, the eldest of the kauravas and arch-rival of the pandavas, saved karna from humiliation by making him the king of a small kingdom requesting only friendship in return. this developed a strong bond between karna and duryodhana, two warriors who should have been rivals. both of them were the eldest of the warring families and would never have developed a friendship. they should have fought against one another in the finals - the 17-day kurukshetra. his friendship with duryodhana earned him intense rivalry with his unknown brother arjuna and enmity in general with the five pandavas, of whom he was the eldest.

standing up for principles: though he was a loyal friend to duryodhana, he expressed his dislike of shakuni to him. he continuosly advised duryodhana to use his prowess and skill to defeat enemies rather than resorting for deceit or trickery. when the kauravas fail in their attempt to kill the pandavas by setting fire to the house of lac, karna chides duryodhana telling him that cowards are doomed to fail. he exhorts duryodhana to be a true warrior.

pioneering efforts: duryodhana forcefully carried away the princess of chitragandha when she refused him at her swayamvar. the other kings pursued duyodhana and karna defeated them single-handedly. karna was able to defeat jarasandha by finding out his achilles heel during the battle. krishna came to know about it and he later helped bheema in defeating jarasandha by exploiting the achilles heel that karna had initially found out.

generosity: upon becoming a king, karna took an oath that anyone who approached him with a request at mid-day (when he would be worshipping the sun) would not go away with the request unfulfilled. when it was decided upon the kurukshetra war, the king of the gods, indra who was also the father of arjuna feared that karna might end up killing arjuna. it was the kavacha-kundala that would make karna invincible and immortal in battle and so indra decides to take them from karna. the sun-god surya warns his son of indra's intentions. indra disguises as a poor brahmin and approaches karna during his mid-day worship and asks for the kavacha-kundala whichkarna gives off readily by severing them from his body. humiliated by his generosity, indra gives karna the boon to use indra's most powerful weapon - vasavashakthi, but only once.

egoistic complex: at draupadi's swayamvar, karna was easily able to wield and string the bow and he would have gone off with her, if she had not humiliated him by calling him a 'sutputra' (son of a charioteer). his words hurt him and he failed. he was the righful person to claim draupadi, being a true warrior and being the first pandava. but the words had hurt his ego. he could not make himself realise that he was a king. he could not make himself wield and restrung the bow.

moment of weakness: karna was against duryodhana's plan to defeat the pandavas in a game of dice with trickery and deceit. just to please duryodhana, he is present at the game that leads to draupadi's 'vastraharan'. when the kauravas start to strip her, karna insults her saying that 'a woman with more than four husbands is a whore'. the whole incident makes arjuna vow to kill karna. while it can be argued that karna's part in the strip was the cause of his downfall, his act can also be justified since it was draupadi who had unjustly humiliated him during the swayamvar.

loyal and honorable: when krishna fails in peace negotiations with the kauravas, he approaches karna, the finest warrior. krishna reveals to karna his identity as the eldest pandava and requests him to join his brothers; moreover, the pandavas would be ready to accept him as their brother and future king. karna refuses the offer citing his loyalty to duryodhana. he also reveals that, since krishna is with the pandavas, defeat is certain for him and the kauravas and he was ready to accept it. krishna accepts karna's sense of loyalty and accepts his decision. he promises to keep karna's lineage a secret and bows down to him - maybe the only time when the divine krishna bows down to the mere human. later, kunti meets karna in person and reveals him as her first son. she asks him to join the pandavas and become the future king. karna refuses citing his unflinching loyalty to duryodhana. he promises her that he will not kill any of the pandavas except for arjuna which will, in either way leave kunti with five sons. he also requests kunti to keep his royal birth a secret. upon her request, he also promises her that he would not use any divine weapon more than once during the war.

the war within: bheeshma could not accept the leadership of the son of a charioteer. so, karna enters thebattlefield on the eleventh day after the fall of bheeshma. on the thirteenth day, his act of killing the unarmed and outnumbered abhimanyu (son of arjuna) is considered the reason for the damage of his image as an honorable warrior. on the fourteenth night, karna uses the vasavashakthi (the boon from indra) to slay ghatotkacha, the half-asura son of bhima. with the use of the weapon, krishna was sure that victory could now be theirs. on the sixteenth day, karna almost killed arjuna with his powerful nagastra but was saved by krishna. he could have used the nagastra a second time and slat arjuna but he stuck to the promise he made to kunti. it was towards sunset that karna could kill arjuna a third time on the same day, but he remembered the law of the battle laid forward by bheeshma that killing after sunset was morally wrong. on the seventeenth day, arjuna's arrows pushes bcak karna's chariot by several feet while the latter's arrows pushes back arjuna's by a few inches, so he is surprised when krishna praises karna. krishna explains that karna's chariot bore only the weight of karna and the charioteer while arjuna's chariot had the weight of the whole universe (krishna was the avatar of lord vishnu) in them and despite that, karna was able to move them by many inches. karna praises arjuna on his ability to deftly restring the bow. it seemed that both of them were well-matched and equal. then the earlier curses on karna started to rise. his chariot wheel sinks into the loose soil (bhoomidevi's curse); he finds himself unable to remember the incantations of the divine weapons (his guru parashurama's curse); and finally when he seeks the permission from arjuna and krishna and gets down from the chariot to remove the sinking wheel, krishna forces arjuna to bend the rules of the battle and kill karna when he is helpless (the brahmin's curse). when karna came to know that the pandavas were his brothers, his hatred towards them had vanished and just to be loyal to duryodhana, he went along with the war whereas the pandavas, his enemies were unaware that karna was their elder brother. arjuna is able to slay karna using a normal arrow. the death of karna made the most righteous woman in the epic, gandhari, the mother of the kauravas, to curse krishna.

despite being on the evil side, karna is considerd a formidable warrior, a courageous spirit who braved impossible odds on life. he is adored for his generosity. he is considered an example of how misjudgement can waste all the fine qualities of an individual.

karna never got his dues but he never stopped trying...

in the beginning, man created god

the british humanist association has decided to broadcast their viewpoints and for that they have purchased advertising space on the buses that sway through the streets of london. now, to their viewpoints - atheism. the 'atheist bus campaigns' have spread to usa, canada and other parts of europe. the campaign started with 40 buses and a target of 5000 pounds and has now crossed 200 buses with a collection of 150, 000 pounds. the church complained to the advertising regulatory that the ads would hurt religious sentiments but the complaint was rejected on the right for 'freedom of expression'.

slogan of 'you don't have to believe in god to be a moral or ethical person' was met with 'there definitely is a god. so join the christian party and enjoy your life'. the transport authorities made a lot of moolah. the atheist associations have achieved their objective and if the church should dare the church to authenticate their claims, the church will be challenged to prove their case. phew!!!

what surprised me was - 80% of the british and 90% of the americans are 'believers'. the usa is probably the only country that proclaims its faith on its currency - it is imprinted on the dollar - 'in god we trust'. then how did the campaign get to be success. is religion losing its glamour??

the thought that scared me - what would happen if this campaign came to india? there won't be any buses left on the streets. the buses, bus stations, workshops, transport corporations and even the transport minister would be castrated.

but then, india is the birth-place of three religions that deny the existence of god. gautham buddha asked his followers not to accept even his teaching if it failed to pass the test of reason. buddha's argument was that, if god is omnipotent, why is there so much evil all around? jainism, following the teachings of mahavira propound the concept that 'god is a mithya'. mahavira believed that the universe had no beginning and so, no creator. hinduism accepts that atheists can continue to be hindus with brihaspati being the presiding deity of the atheists.

so, basically all the religions that sprouted out of india were tolerant and gave importance to atheists, but the followers of the 'atheism-supporting' religions are not tolerant.

the right thumb of ekalavya and perumthachan

the sanskrit epic of ancient india 'mahabharatha' was always a fascination to me. it is a major work in hindu mythology which discusses about dharma (duty), artha (purpose), kama (desire) and moksha (liberation). it explains the relation between man with society and with the world. the karma is also a major point of discussion in the epic which is the one of the longest in the world, authored by vyasa in 4th century. the narrative plot is the rivalry between the 100 kauravas and 5 pandavas escalating to the final showdown - the 18 day kurukshetra war which decided the fate of all the players involved in the game. along-with the major plot are many minor side-stories, like the ones of nala-damayanthi, vaishali, rishyashringa...and of course ekalavya.

for the ones not aware with ekalavya - he was a prince of the nishadha tribe which had the best bird-hunters. he was the first cousin of lord krishna. his great desire to learn archery was rejected by drona because he was of low-caste. drona was the guru of the kauravas and pandavas. (today, the best sports coaches in india are yearly awarded the dronacharya award by the govt. of india) fuelled by the rejection and the desire, ekalavya made a clay-image of drona and began a disciplined self-study. he becomes an archer of exceptional prowess, arguably better than drona's favourite and mahabharatha's most prominent warrior, arjuna. when ekalavya shuts the mouth of a barking dog by firing seven arrows into its mouth without injuring it, drona and his students are impressed. arjuna starts to fear the skills of ekalavya and complains to drona that the guru had promised to make arjuna the best archer. as guru-dakshina, drona requests the right-hand thumb which surprises eveyone including arjuna, but ekalavya without even a flinch, severs off his thumb and presents it to drona.

i had read somehwere that, after the incident, ekalavya practised with his left hand and regained his skills, though i never found this version mentioned in the epic. drona could have demanded a greater punishment under the laws in effect at that time, but he asked only for ekalavya's right thumb, thus making the archery skills which he had learned secretly useless. drona was so engrossed in making arjuna the best archer that he could not bear the thought that his knowledge was being practised by someone else, unknowest to him. the low-caste status of ekalavya would never have been a criterion to drona. although ekalavya's story teaches us of attitude towards learning by self, it also perhaps gives us a lesson that we should not try to steal knowledge because eventually, that may all go waste. in india, we have the concept of 'guru devo bhava' meaning 'guru is god', someone who is to be respected. another coinciding thought is that, the curse of a guru is enough to pull out all the evident goodness in a student and he will never succeed in life. drona could have cursed ekalavya but he didnt. drona could have at least acknowledged his talent in a secret meeting in the forests, but he didnt. drona could have blessed him later, because which teacher wouldn't like to relish the fact that one of his students is the best he has seen or taught, knowingly or not.

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folklores have a cultural significance. the 'aithihyamaala' is a compilation of the legends and folklore of kerala, written by kottarathil sankunni. among the legends is the one of perumthachan (master carpentar). the brahmin vararuchi married a low-caste 'parayi' woman and set out on a long journey. during the journey, the woman became pregnant several times. each time she delivered the child, vararuchi would ask if the child had a mouth or not and when she answered positive, vararuchi asked her to abandon saying that since the child had a mouth, it would somehow fend for itself. the 12 children were picked up by people belonging to different castes and they came to be known as 'parayi petta panthirukulam' meaning 'the 12 castes born to the parayi woman'. perumthachan was one of the 12 and he belonged to the 'ashaari' caste (the carpentars caste). he mastered the art of carpentary, read the sacred texts and built many temples and palaces. he came to be known as a reincarnation of the chief architect of the gods. but, when his son became a better carpentar and his renown spread far and wide, it created a jealousy in the father and he killed his son by dropping a chisel on him, faking it to be an accident.

i still prefer to keep my impression of perumthachan based on the m.t. vasudevan scripted 1990 movie of the title character, which was directed by debutant ajayan and had fantastic visuals by santosh sivan. it exlpores the strained relation between perumthachan who is tradition-bound and his son who is eager to break the norms and limits. perumthachan is disturbed by his son's capacity to manipulate the clients and the strain of unscrupulousness in him which is a mark of the new, more materialistic and self-centred generation. perumthachan had once been drawn to bhargavi thampuratti, the queen-wife of his higher-caste namboothiri friend but he restrained himself well-aware of the societal norm that he is a low-caste despite being born to brahmin; but to a parayi woman. later when his son is drawn to the thampuratti's daughter, (the resident princess) and has no qualms about it, the perumthachan is disturbed. his namboothiri friend, who happens to be the father of the girl, requests the perumthachan to safeguard the honor of the royal household. it is this dilemma, known only to the perumthachan and the friend, that he drops the chisel on his son and then commits suicide.

both the stories revel in the aspect of jealousy. the egoistic blunder that someone will unsurp you while you are still in your prime. drona had jealousy to a student, perumthachan had it to his son. both were considered exemplaries in their arts. drona is cheated to believe that his son has died and is then bought down by the pandavas during the kurukshetra, while perumthachan is always remembered for having killed his son out of jealousy.

the last temptation of christ

a passage in the gospel of mark that has always disturbed me, is in chapter 11: 12-14 :
'and on the morrow, when they were come from bethany, he was hungry. and seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find any thing thereon; and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet. and jesus answered and said unto it, no man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever.'

the same incident is recorded in the gospel of matthew 21: 18-22.

there are 47 miracles attributed to jesus; 40 of them in the canonical gospels and 7 in non-canonical sources. for me, the withering of the fig tree is also a miracle, but it hasnt been recorded, maybe because of the destructive nature. i have also wondered: how could jesus? he fed 5000 with five loaves of bread and two fish, but couldnt resist cursing a tree when it didnt provide relief to his needs. it was a passage that made me think of jesus as a normal human being, like any of us.

yesterday, i happened to see the 1998 martin scorsese directed movie 'the last temptation of christ' adapted from the nikos kazantzakis' philosophical novel of the same name. to an extent, the movie did make a religious impact in me.

in the movie, jesus is a 28 year old jewish carpentar in nazareth who is torn between self-conflicts - between the reality that he is a normal man and the knowledge that god has a plan for him. the conflicts result in self-loathing and he wants god to find someone else to spread the message of the kingdom of heaven. so he goes about trying to do things that would make god hate him and eventually leave him - he constructs crosses and collaborates with the romans to crucify the jewish revolutionaries (sicarii) trying to overthrow the romans.

judas iscariot belongs to the sicarri, and he is sent to assasinate jesus for his alleged relation with the romans. during their confrontation, judas suspects jesus to be the messiah and refrains from doing the deed. judas has visions of overthrowing the romans through a violent revolution while jesus' message is that of love for mankind. reluctantly, judas joins jesus' ministry reminding him that he would kill him of jesus strayed from the revolution.

mary magdalene is older than jesus and had a motherly longing for him from childhood. despite being a high-prized prostitute, she still longs for jesus and he had even decided to start a life with her. after judas joins him, the both of them save her from being stoned instructing the mob - he who is without sin should cast the first stone'.

john the baptist preaches about destruction to mankind for the sins committed by them. people flock to the lakeside to get baptized by him. when jesus and his first disciples visit him, judas queries whether thebaptist is the messiah. jesus disagrees saying the messiah doesnt carry an axe of destruction but the message of love. the baptist believes that, one must first gain fredom from the romans before the world is declared (somewhat on the lines of judas' vision), while jesus believes that love is more important.

to find out if god is really speaking to him, jesus walks to the desert and overcomes the three temptations of satan. with newfound courage and vision, he performs signs and wonders. his ministry leads him to the temple in jerusalem where he throws out the money-dealers and proclaims the destruction of the temple in three days. jesus leads a small army to take the temple by force but blood starts to pour out from his hands; whereby he realises that violence is not the right path and that he must die to bring salvation. he realises that judas is his only disciple who doesnt admire him blindly, so he confides in judas to betray him. judas doesnt want to, but jesus implores him and he agrees.

jesus is finally crucified on the cross, where he sees and angel who tells him that he is neither the son of god nor the messiah, but god is pleased with him and wants him to be happy (just like god's love for abraham on being ready to sacrifice issac). the angel takes him and conducts his marriage to mary magdalene. the couple live an idyllic life and has a child. upon mary's death, the angel tells him that all women are 'mary' and conducts his marriage to mary and martha, the sisters of lazarus. he leads a peaceful life. paul preaches about jesus. paul was once saul and had murdered the resurrected lazarus to prevent the disciples from spreading the word of jesus. when jesus confronts paul and reveals himself, paul rejects him saying that, he prefers a dead-and-resurrected jesus. upon his death-bed in old-age, his disciples visit him when the world is in ruins. judas, his favourite disciple calls him a 'traitor'. it is then that jesus realises that the angel which had been following him all the time, is indeed satan who has been tempting jesus into the life of comfort of a normal human being. jesus realises that he has to die for the salvation of mankind. he takes himself back to the crucufixion and begs god to let him fulfill his purpose and be 'god's son'.

the last temptation of christ was a fantasy - to escape the death on cross, to be married, to have a family, to be a mere mortal.

'the prophet' (1923) - khalil gibran vol. 1

for 12 years, almusthafa had waited in the city of orphalese for the ship that would return him to the isle of his birth. in the seventh day of the month of ielool, the month of reaping, he saw his ship coming through the mist. the first surge of happiness slowly changed to sadness when he thought about the times he had spent in the city; the days of pain and loneliness. he would have to leave with a wound in his spirit; leaving the city was like tearing one’s own skin with one’s own hands. his mother the sea called out and it made him decide that he had to board the ship. just another loving look backwards, that was all before he would join his men. as he walked, he saw men and women returning from the fields and the vineyards, calling out his name and announcing the arrival of the ship. the day of parting seemed to change into the day of gathering. he wondered what could he, a seeker of silences, give the city in return? the elders asked him not to leave. for them, he was a noontide at twilight, a youth whose dreams had given them dreams; he was a beloved son of theirs. the hour of separation is when the depths of love can be known the most. tears welling his eyes, he walked with the people to the temple-square. the prophetess, almitra, who was the first to believe him on his first day in the city, came out of the sanctuary and hailed him as a prophet of god, in quest for the uttermost and have searched long distances for his ship and now that it has come, he has to go; the deep longing for his homeland is greater than the binding love of the city-dwellers yet she request him to give them the truth so that it will be passed on down the generations and wont perish. the city requested him to disclose about them to themselves and tell them all that is between birth and death. the prophet started to speak, ‘people of orphalese, of what can I speak save of that which is even now moving within your souls?’ then they asked him his thoughts about certain topics:

love – when love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep. and when his wings enfold you, yield to him though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. and when he speaks to you, believe in him though his voice might shatter your dreams. love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. but if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: to melt and be like the running brook that sings its melody to the night; to know the pain of too much tenderness; to be wounded by your own understanding of love and to bleed willingly and joyfully. to wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; to rest at noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy; to return home at eventide with gratitude and then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

marriage – you were born together and shall be for evermore. you shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. you shall be together in the silent memory of god. but, let there be spaces in your togetherness. love one another, but make not a bond of love; fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup; give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf; sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, even as the strings of a lute are alone they quiver with the same music. and stand together yet not too near together, like the pillars of the temple stand apart; like the oak and cypress trees that grow not in each other’s shadow.

children – they are life’s longing for itself. you may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. you may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in dreams. you may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. you are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

giving – you give but little when you give of your possessions. it is when you give of yourself that you truly give, for what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow? and tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the over-prudent dog burying bones in the trackless sand. there are those who give little of the much which they have – and they give it for recognition and their hidden desires make their gifts unwholesome. and there are those who have little and give it all, these are the believers in life and the bounty of life and their coffer is never empty. you often say, ‘i would give, but only to the deserving.’ the trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture. they give that they may live, for to with-hold is to perish.

eating & drinking – would that you could live on the fragrance of the earth, and like an air plant be sustained by light. but since you must kill to eat, and rob the newly born of its mother’s milk to quench your thirst, let it then be an act of worship. and let your board stand on altar on which the pure and the innocent of forest and plain are sacrificed for that which is purer and still more innocent in man. when you kill a beast, say to him in your heart: ‘by the same power that slays you, i too am slain; and i too shall be consumed. for the law that delivered you into my hand shall deliver me into a mightier hand.’ and, in the autumn, when you gather the grapes of your vineyard for the wine-press, say in your heart: ‘i too am a vineyard, and my fruit shall be gathered for the winepress, and like new wine i shall be kept in eternal vessels. and in winter, when you draw the wine, let there be in your heart a song for each cup; and let there be in the song a remembrance for the autumn days and for the vineyard and for the winepress.

work – you work that you may keep pace with the earth and the soul of the earth. for to be idle is to become a stranger unto the seasons, and to step put of life’s procession that maries in majesty and proud submission towards the infinite. which of you would like to be a dumb and silent reed when all others are singing together in unison? but if you in your pain call birth an affliction and the support of the flesh a curse written upon your brow, then i answer that, naught but the sweat of your brow shall wash away that which is written. i have heard many say. ‘he who works in marble and finds the shape of his own soul in the stone is nobler that he who ploughs the soil.’ but i say, that the wind speaks not more sweetly to the giant oaks than to the least of all the blades of grass. and if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better than you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy.

joy and sorrow – your joy is your sorrow unmasked. is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven? when you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. when you are sorrowful, look again into your heart and you shall see that, in truth, you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

houses – your house is your larger body. it grows in the sun and sleeps in the stillness of the night. in their fear, your grandfathers gathered you too near together. and that fear shall endure a little longer. what have you in these houses? and what is it you guard with fastened doors? have you peace, the quiet urge that reveals your power? have you remembrances, the glimmering arches that span the summits of the mind? have you beauty, which leads the heart from things fashioned of wood and stone to the holy mountain? or have you only comfort, and lust for comfort, that stealthily thing that enters the house a guest, and then becomes a host and then a master? and it becomes a tamer, and with a hook and scourge makes puppets of your larger desires. your house shall be not an anchor but a mast. you shall not dwell in tombs made by the dead for the living. for that which is boundless in you abides in the mansion of the sky, whose door is the morning mist and whose windows are the songs and the silences of the night.

clothes – your clothes conceal much of your beauty, yet they hide not the unbeautiful. and thought you seek in garments the freedom of privacy you may find in them a harness and a chain. would it be rather that you could feel the sun and the wind with more of your skin and less of your raiment? for the breath of life, is in sunlight and the hand of life, is in wind. forget not that modesty is for a shield against the eye of the unclean. and when the unclean shall be no more, what were the modesty but a fetter and fouling of the mind?

buying and selling – to you the earth yields her fruit, and you shall not want if you but know how to fill your hands. it is in exchanging the gifts of the earth that you shall find abundance and be satisfied. yet unless the exchange be in love and kindly justice it will but lead some to greed and others to hunger. when in the market-place you toilers of the sea, fields and vineyards meet the weavers, potters and spice merchants, invoke then the master spirit of the earth, to come to your midst and sanctify the scales. and if there come the singers and dancers and the flute-players, buy of their gifts also, for they too are gatherers of fruit and frankincense and that which they bring, though fashioned of dreams, is raiment and food for your soul. and before you leave the market-place, see that no one has gone his way empty-handed.

crime and punishment – it is when your spirit goes wandering upon the wind that you, alone and unguarded, commit a wrong unto others and yourself. and for that wrong committed must you knock and wait a while unheeded at the gate of the blessed. you speak of one who commits a wrong as though he were not one of you, but a stranger unto you and an intruder upon your world. even as the holy and the righteous cannot rise beyond the highest which is in each of you, so the wicked and the weak cannot fall lower than the lowest which is in you also. as a single leaf does not turn yellow without the silent knowledge of the whole tree, so the wrongdoer cannot do wrong without the hidden will of you all. like a procession you walk together towards your god-self. and when one of you falls down he falls for those behind him, a caution against the stumbling stone. and he falls for those ahead of him, who, though faster and surer of foot, yet removed not the stumbling stone. the murdered is accountable for the murder; the righteous is not innocent of the deeds of the wicked. you cannot separate the just from the unjust and the good from the wicked, for they stand together. if any of you would punish in the name of righteousness and lay the axe unto the evil tree, let him see to its roots; where he will find the roots of good and bad; fruitful and fruitless all entwined together in the silent heart of the earth. and how shall you punish those whose remorse is already greater than their mis-deeds? the cornerstone of the temple is not higher than the lowest stone in the foundation.

laws – you delight in laying down laws yet you delight in breaking them; like children playing by the ocean who build sand-towers with constancy and then destroy them with laughter. what shall i say of those that stand in the sunlight with their backs to the sun? they see only their shadows and the shadows are their laws. you can muffle the drum, you can loosen the strings of the lyre, but who shall command the skylark to sing?

freedom – you can only be free when even the desire of seeking freedom becomes a harness to you and when you cease to speak of freedom as a goal and a fulfillment. you shall be free when our days are not without a care or your nights without want and a grief. how shall you rise beyond your days and nights unless you break the chains which you at the dawn of your understanding have fastened around your noon hour? in truth that which you call freedom is the strongest of these chains. just like when the shadow fades and is no more, the light that lingers becomes a shadow to another light, your freedom, when it loses its fetters becomes itself the fetter of a greater freedom.

india's orson welles

jaane woh kaise log dhe jinke /
wonder what were those people
pyaar ko pyaar mila /
who got love in return for love
humnein jab kaliyaan maange /
when i had asked for a garden
kaanton ka haar mila /
i got a garland of thorns instead
- pyaasa / thirsty (1957)

when in hyderabad at the start of the century, i used to frequently buy filmfare mag. i first read about guru dutt when filmfare came out with a hard-bound '100 greatest stars of all time'. nasreen munni kabir's 'guru dutt: a life in cinema' was published in 1997 and considered to be a in-depth work. i bought the book and read it. then came the guru dutt film festival - a 7 day festival showcasing his best. i bought a 'season' ticket of 200 rs. and went with my fellow-animator kiran to watch the movies in the evenings. i couldnt see all, but made it to watch his best three - pyaasa (1957), kaagaz ke phool (1959) and sahib, bibi aur ghulam (1962). i was stung. the b/w song picturisations, the characters and the flow of the narrative were stunning. he was indeed, one of the greatest indian film-makers who ushered in an artistic narrative yet not too arty, but accessable to the common man. he made brillaint lyrical and artistical films within the context of the masala hindi cinema of the 50's. several of his works have a cult following with his movies going full house when re-released in germany, france and japan. pyaasa and kaagaz ke phool are included among the greatest films of all time by 'time' magazine and by the critics of 'sight and sound'. critics poll have included him in the list of greatest film-makers of all time.

vasanth kumar shivashankar padukone was born on july 9, 1925 in a chitrapur saraswats in a village in south kanara district of the kingdom of mysore (present-day karnataka). his father was a headmaster and then a bank employee while his mother was a teacher who also wrote short stories and translated bengali literature to kannada. strained relationship with his parents, financial difficulties, hostility from maternal families, the insanity of a maternal uncle and the death of his 7-month old brother - all gave him a tough childhood. a childhood accident led to him being renamed as guru shivashankar padukone dutt. he spent a lot of time with his mother's cousin who painted cinema posters. one of the paintings was that of a snake-dancer which greatly influenced guru and he produced many inspired movements and persuaded his uncle to paint them. he won a cash prize of rs. 5 when he performed the snake-dance at a function. when his grandmother used to perform arathi, he would use his fingers to make shapes on the wall with the diya. when his father joined the burmah shell company, the family moved to calcutta where guru finished his schooling. though he was a good student, financial troubles didnt allow him to join college. the bengali tradition and culture greatly influenced guru. instead of joining college, at the age of 16, he joined the uday shankar india cultural center at almora where, under a scholarship of rs. 75 annually, he studied dance, drama and music for 5 years, till 1944 when the center had to be closed because of the advancing ww2. when he moved to bombay, he dropped the middle names to be known as guru dutt.

guru got a job as telephone operator at lever brothers factory in calcutta. disinterested with the job, he left it and joined his parents in bombay. his uncle got him a 3-year contract job at prabhat film company in pune, where he gained the friendship of dev anand and rehman. in 1944, he made a cameo as sri krishna for chand. the next year, he acted and was assistant director for lakhrani. the next year he worked as assistant director and choregraphed the dances for hum ek hain. when his contract came to an end, he joined as freelance assistant with baburao pai, the ceo of prabhat, but was unemployed for nearly 10 months during which he developed his flair for english and wrote short stories for 'the illustrated weekly of india'. during this stage of unemployment, he wrote an autobiographical script called 'kashmakash' (the struggle). prabhat hired him as choreographer but he also worked as an actor and assistant director. he regained his friendship with dev anand and rehman. guru and dev promised each other that, if guru were to become a film-maker, he would cast dev as hero and if dev were to produce a film, he would hand over the direction to guru. when prabhat closed down in 1947, guru shifted to bombay and assisted leading directors like amiya chakravarthy and gyan mukherjee.

baazi (1951):
after the first film under his production house 'navketan' failed, dev anand fulfilled his part of the promise by offering guru the chance to direct 'baazi' (the wager). the movie was a crime thriller like the 1940's hollywood movies which had a morally ambigious hero. the movie starred dev anand, geeta bali, kalpana kirtik, k.n. singh and johnny walker. the music was by s.d. burman. the film introduced the 'guru dutt shot' which are close-ups used either with a 75mm or a 100mm lens. the film had 14 such shots. the film also used songs to further the narrative of the plot. the film was a huge success.

jaal (1952):
guru's second directorial was 'jaal' (the net) with dev anand, geeta bali, k.n. singh and johnny walker. the music was by s.d. burman and cinematography by v.k. murthy. set in the goan fishing villages, the film told the love story of a good-for-nothing man from the city and an innocent village girl. the film had the christian messages of love and forgiveness and also had a strong religious fervour, both of which were missing in later guru films. the songs were a huge hit and the film had an average run. creative differences between guru and dev's elder brother, film-maker chetan anand made future colloborations impossible.

the 'guru dutt crew' had been formed. it consisted of the directors guru and raj khosla; the writer abrar alvi; the cinematographer v.k. murthy; the lyricists sahir ludhianvi and kaifi azmi; musician s.d. burman and singers mohammed rafi and geeta bali. guru also encouraged the actor rehman and the comedian johnny walker.

baaz (1953):
the third was 'baaz' (the hawk) set in the 16th century and told about a young woman who rose in defiance against the portugease with the help of an indian prince. the film was an action adventure abroad a ship and had the guru dutt team. since guru couldnt find any actor to play the lead, he starred as the hero. the film didnt make much money. the movie was the first production under the 'guru dutt movies pvt. ltd.' (gdmpl)

aar paar (1954):
the fourth was a light-hearted movie 'aar paar' (both sides)which starred guru, shyama, shakila and johnny walker. the lyrics were by majrooh sultanpuri and music by o.p. nayyar. the plot was the love story of a convict who gets job at a garage, falls in love with the owner's daughter, gets fired and is mistakenly hired as the driver of a gangster. the movie had stylish dialogue, great songs and pace. the film was produced by gdmpl and was a huge success.

mr. and mrs. 55 (1955):
the fifth was a socially-critical romantic comedy starring guru, madhubala, lalita pawar and johnny walker. it had lyrics by majrooh sultanpuri and music by o.p. nayyar. it told the story of a struggling cartoonist who gets into a sham marriage with a young socialite as planned by her feminist aunt who wants the couple to divorce at the earliest, but the pair starts to realise their feelings. the cartoons in the movie were drawn by r.k. laxman.the film was produced by gdmpl and was a huge success.

the fourth movie under gdmpl was the 1956 crime thriller 'c.i.d'. the movie starred dev anand, shakila, johnny walker and waheeda rehman. guru had produced the movie but it was directed by raj khosla. as per their promise, guru should have directed it but it didnt happen. guru had spotted waheeda in a telugu movie and gave her a supporting role as a vamp in 'c.i.d' to prepare her for later movies. the film had choreography done by zohra sehgal, costumes by bhanumati (who later came to be known as bhanu athaiya and won an oscar award for her work in the 1982 richard attenborough directed 'gandhi'), lyrics by majrooh sultanpuri and jaan nissar akhtar with music by o.p. nayyar.

sailaab (1956):
this was guru's sixth directorial and it starred abhi bhattacharya and geeta bali. it was produced by guru's brother-in-law mukul roy. the plot was that of an amnesic patient who falls in love but later cannot recognise his lover when he regains his memory following a shock accident. finally the lovers meet. the film had some good songs with music by mukul roy, but the film was a huge disaster.

pyaasa (1957):
'pyaasa' (thirsty) was actually 'kashmakash' the script guru had written during his stage of unemployment. the movie was a product of the 'guru dutt crew'. it was dedicated to his guru, gyan mukherjee. it starred guru, mala sinha, rehman, johnny walker and waheeda rehman in her first leading role. the story was that of an unsuccessful poet who is not recognised by society or his family. a prostitute gets hold of some of his poems. when the poet is mistaken to be dead, the prostitute gets the poems published in the name of the dead poet and they are critically acclaimed. the living poet tries in vain to prove his identity but gets admitted in a mental asylum by the publisher of his poems, who also happens to be the husband of his college sweetheart. he escapes from the asylum to arrive at a memorial being conducted in his name. at the memorial he denounces the corrupt, materialistic world. when his brothers decide to prove his identity for monetary benefits, the poet himself rejects his individuality and walks off with the prostitute to start a new life. the film had some of the best works of sahir ludhianvi, s.d. burman, geeta dutt and mohd. rafi. guru wanted dilip kumar to play the poet, but when the 'tragedy king' declined the offer, the director donned the role. guru's close associates had predicted a failure but, after a slow opening, the movie became a major commercial success. the film has a cult following in france and germany. it was a huge commercial success during its 1984 french premiere. the movie is a regular at international film festivals. in 2002, 'sight & sound' critics listed the film in their list of all-time greatest films. in 2004, they considered the soundtrack of the movie to be 'the best music in film'. in 2005, time magazine had this film in its list of the 100 all-time best films. the readers of time mag listed the movie in top 10 movies of all time.

kaagaz ke phool (1959):
motivated by the success of 'pyaasa' guru decided on another socially challenging movie. guru's eighth and last directorial was 'kaagaz ke phool' (paper flowers). it starred guru, waheeda rehman, johnny walker and mahmood. it was a product of the 'guru dutt crew'. the film told the story of a film director who is facing a rocky marriage and is not allowed to meet his daughter since film-making is considered a job lacking social dignity. he introduces a new actress who becomes an acclaimed star and the relation between them fill the gossip pages. upon th daughter's plea, the actress leaves the film world to teach at a school. the separation causes the destruction of the once-respected director who finally dies a lonely, forgotten death at old age in the director's chair of a film studio closed for lunch break. it was the first indian film to be made in 75mm cinemascope. the song 'waqt ne kiya kya haseen sitam' and its picturisation are still unmatched today. the theme and execution of the film was ahead of the indian audience who were used to simple plots. the president of india, dr. rajendra prased, who had been invited as special guest walked out deeply offended by the movie. audiences at delhi cinema halls threw stones and damaged the screens. the film became a disaster. many claim that the film is autobiogrpahical, owing to the strained relation guru was having with his wife and the alleged love affair with his find, waheeda rehman. it is also said that the plot was based on the life of gyan mukherjee, the eminent director whom guru had assisted. gyan had tasted success in 'qismet' in 1941 but his later failures made him an introvert. the songs 'waqt ne kiya' by geeta dutt anf 'dekhi hai zamaana ki yaari' by mohd. rafi are classic gems of indian cinema. the failure of the movie affected guru so much that, he stopped direction. he had spend a great deal of passion and the failure made him believe that his name as director didnt attract benefits. the 1984 re-release in france and japan made it a commercial hit. from the 1980's the film enjoyed cult followings in europe and asia. in 2002, 'sight & sound' critics listed this film in their list of all-time greatest film.

chaudhvin ka chand (1960):
the movie was about lucknow at the start of the century. the team worked hard on the details. it was directed by mohammed sadiq and starred guru, rehman, waheeda and johnny walker. the plot was of two friends caught in a love triangle with the same woman. by the time the shoot was nearly complete, color cinema was just filtering in india. guru wanted to re-shoot the entire movie in color, however his financiers and distributors didnt allow him. however, guru compromised with them and had the memorable title song in color. the lyrics were by shakeel badayuni and music by ravi. the movie was the biggest hit of guru dutt's career. the team was sure that the movie would succeed but the magnitude was beyond reason. the film saved gdmpl from bankruptcy.though not directed by guru, the movie does have his signature styles.

sahib, bibi aur ghulam (1962):

this is the third movie for which guru dutt will always be remembered for. it was directed and written by abrar alvi; and produced by gdmpl. it was based on a book by bimal mitra exploring the tragic fall of havelis in bengal during the british raj. the plot is about a lower-class uneducated youngster who arrives in bengal to work at the mohini sindoor factory which is next to the grand haveli of the choudhary's. contrary to his belief, the life inside the haveli is all in shambles. the choudhary brothers engage in a decadent lifestyle. it is when the choti bahu (youngest daughter-in-law) asks him for the mohini sindoor to keep her husband at home, that he realises the strained relationship. the youngster becomes a trainee architect and leaves the factory. the choti bahu resorts to drinking in order to keep her husband at home by providing him company. the architect comes back years later to find that he had been betrothed as a youngster to the daughter of the factory owner. he finds out that the choti bahu is a hopeless alcoholic and her husband has become paralyzed. when she goes out to the temple with the architect to pray for her husband's health, the other zamindars punish her for consorting with someone outisde the household. the shame forces the choti bahu tl leave the haveli. years later, the middle-aged architect arrives at the broken-down haveli and during excavation finds the remains of the choti bahu. the movie starred meena kumari, guru, rehman and waheeda. the lyrics were by shakeel badayuni and music by hemant kumar. the performance by meena kumari as the choti bahu is one of the finest in indian cinema. the film was a critical and commercial success. it was nominated for the 'golden bear' at the berlin international film festival and was chosen as india's official entry to the oscars. there has always been a debate as to the director of the movie. since the film is characteristic of guru, it is impossible to think of abrar as the director. guru never made any claims when abrar won awards for the best director.

in between, guru had acted in the movies, suhagan (1954), 12 o'clock (1958), sautela bhai (1962). after 'sahib,bibi aur ghulam', he acted in movies like bharosa (1963), sanjh aur savera (1964), just to keep his production house running so that he could work on projects of his choice.

on october 10, 1964, at the age of 39, guru dutt was found dead in his rented apartment. the death was supposedly because of the lethal combination of excessive alcohol and sleeping pills. if it was a suicide attempt, it should have been his third attempt. at the time of his death, he was acting in two projects (picnic, love and god) and was having talks about his upcoming film 'baharein phir bhi aayenge'. he also had talks with raj kapoor on making color films. though there were instances earlier in life that could have driven him to suicide (which he actually did twice), at the time of his death, he was in full creative swing. he had been talking the night before with abrar alvi, who later recalled that guru was tense but was also excited about his upcoming ventures. incidentally, abrar alvi was one of the very few persons who seemed to believe that it was not a suicide attempt.

in 1953, guru had married the well-known playback singer geeta roy overcoming oppositions from both families. although guru was a strict disciplinarian in his works, his personal life was totally undisciplined. he smoked heavily, dranked heavily, ate at odd times and slept only 3-4 hours. his relation with his protege waheeda rehman created problems in his family life. at the time of his death, guru was separated from his wife geeta dutt and waheeda had distanced herself from him not to wreck his marriage. he had three children, tarun, arun and nina.

upon his death, the mourning was first for that of a movie star. as years passed, it became clearer that it was the director in him that should be remembered. from 1973, film festivals in his name are being shown every year in different parts of the world, especially in europe. along-wih satyajit ray, he was considered around the world as an intelligent film-maker. his song picturisations and vivid characters are still etched in the minds of his followers, of which i am one. contrary to the image, all of his movies were money-makers except for the 1969 'kaagaz ke phool' which is now a cult classic, a film much ahead of its times. the movie is part of cinema study in many international universities.

'dekho na, mujhe director banna tha, director ban gaya; actor banna tha, actor ban gya; picture achcha bananna tha, achche banaya. paisa hai, sab kuch hai, par kuch nahi raha'

- see, i wanted to be a director, i became one; wanted to be an actor, i became one; wanted to make good pictures, i have done that too. i have money, i have everyhting but i have nothing left.

these were guru's words which clearly showed the angst inside him.